THAT ONE WORD

I have read the scriptures all my life. I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I am a Christian. I believe that it is only in and through Jesus Christ that I can be saved. But we are also known as a church of doers. Helpers. Servers. Missionaries. Families. Any member of our church will tell you they have an endless list of things they are always trying to accomplish to serve those around them and help build the kingdom of God. Some people think believe we are trying to “work” our way to salvation. We don’t actually believe this. But faith is a principle of action. So faith and works go hand in hand. Where I got stuck, though, was on this word, from one of my fave scriptures, actually:

“For we labor diligently to write, to persuade our children, and also our brethren, to believe in Christ, and to be reconciled to God; for we know that it is by grace that we are saved, after all we can do.” 2 Nephi 25:23

This is a verse from the Book of Mormon. The prophet Nephi is explaining why he is recording his spiritual experiences and his beliefs. He declares that he knows that it is by grace we are saved AFTER all we can do.

There it is. That word AFTER. I totally believed I was saved by the grace of God, AFTER all, I, Tami Pyper, could do on my own. Which to this Asian, overachieving, perfectionist girl meant I had to do it ALL, and THEN I could ask for some grace. This word kept me stuck for YEARS. Had I done all I could do? Then it wasn’t AFTER yet, and I couldn’t ask for some grace. Maybe AFTER was at the end of this life, or at age 50, or when you have 3 kids, or some magical point. I would know AFTER, because then the grace would come flooding in! If I just tried a little harder…was I really doing ALL I could do?

Let’s just talk about what’s wrong with that logic. First of all, my assuming that I can do anything without God’s grace was pretty arrogant. Of course, it’s taken me a lifetime to even begin to understand grace, so maybe I can cut myself some slack. Secondly, why would God expect me to do everything and THEN, AND ONLY THEN help me? Well, everything in my life was based on merit. I had to study harder, practice harder, do more, get better grades, just to have some approval, so why would God be any different? Third, the “we” in that scripture means something totally different than I originally thought.

UNDERSTANDING GRACE

Grace is explained as help or power given to us through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. The Bible Dictionary says that “individuals, through faith in the Atonement of Jesus Christ and repentance of their sins, receive strength and assistance to do good works that they otherwise would not be able to maintain if left to their own means.” So all my ideas of doing all I can do are for naught, because I need grace just to do good to begin with. On the other hand, this is so liberating! Because I have realized that when I offer to babysit or take dinner to someone or do anything that is of service, that I am enabled and strengthened to do those good works through the grace of Jesus Christ. Not just because I’m “trying to do all I can do”. And because He is already strengthening me, I can ask for more strength, because now I’ve realized it’s not just my puny little compassion I’m depending on, which is susceptible to fatigue and irritability and procrastination, and let’s face it service is NEVER convenient, but on His boundless, immense love. That thought alone strengthens me!

The concept of God helping me only “AFTER all we can do” has really taken a hit as I have realized how much I am helped in everyday situations. Like this morning when my daughter or daughters were banging their doors around a whole FIFTEEN minutes before my alarm went off, and I grabbed a pillow to put on my head, and in the process knocked the glass of water on my nightstand over. I just made sure my phone wasn’t wet, set the glass back up, and when I awoke 15 minutes later and got a towel, I found that dust bunnies had soaked up most of the water. How did grace help me in this situation? Well, first off, I didn’t swear, so that’s a win. Secondly, I had a flash of all the millions of times my kids have knocked glasses of liquid over and the universe didn’t implode, and third, I was able to be calm and not get super annoyed with myself. It’s actually much harder for me to be patient and kind to ME than to others. (To be fair, it might have been my SIL banging around this morning, but she’s Japanese and they are by far the quietest of all the Asians. Us Koreans are much noisier. I’m letting my girls take the hit for this one).

That was just a tiny example, but think of all the small moments in your day where you feel/need grace. Your toddler is having a tantrum, your teenager is having a tantrum, you are cut off in traffic, someone is rude to you in the store, your coworker is difficult, your spouse is unkind, you want to kill one of your kids but you don’t! Grace!

THE “WE” IN ALL WE CAN DO

My husband recommended a podcast that he heard a few weeks ago that had Brad Wilcox on it. It was on Deseret Books All In podcast and you can find it HERE. He talks about grace and about this scripture, specifically. I really liked that he discussed the “we” in the phrase “all we can do”. Brother Wilcox talks about how we think that the “we” is you and me, when in reality, it is Heavenly Father and the Savior and me. That’s the “we”. Because we have made covenants with them, we are in this together. So after all the three of us can do as a team, after They have carried me, their grace will still be what saves me and takes me the rest of the way. This was another A-ha moment for me! (Oprah is not the only one who gets to have them.) Christ is not at some finish line, just checking His watch, wanting me to pick up the pace already! He is carrying me along, pretty much the whole way. It’s like a marathon where I did the first hundred yards with Him running next to me, cheering me on, and that was all I could really do and even that took me 50 years. So, the next 26 miles will take a while, but grace is with me every step of the way.

How has grace changed your life?