Who isn’t hanging on by a thread at one time or another? I am frequently in that state of mind, depending on the day. A little while ago I saw this beautiful painting come through my Instagram feed and it struck a chord with me.

THE WOMAN WITH THE ISSUE OF BLOOD

We don’t know her name, or age, or marital status. But we do know she had suffered for years with an “issue of blood” which most scholars think was a hemorrhage of some kind. That in itself sounds miserable, but because of her disease, and because it involved blood, she was considered unclean by Mosaic Law. And not just her, but her bedding and clothing and any servant who touched her bedding or clothing were considered unclean for a prescribed period of time. And her husband, if she had one. This sounds pretty miserable. Like being a leper, but not really. Because at least they got to associate with each other. Who could she even lean on for solace or comfort or just company? No one, unless they were also willing to be considered “unclean” for a period of time. So she spent all her money and tried to find a way to cure her disease. I think she must have been scared, at least a little, to come to the Savior. She didn’t approach Him face to face. She was judged harshly by society and her religion for something she had no control over. I think she was just thinking, “This is my last chance, my last opportunity for relief and I don’t even want to disturb this man so I will just touch his hem as he walks by.” And she must have had incredible faith. The kind that the Savior could feel. When He asked who touched Him, I don’t think He didn’t know. He was using this moment, like so many others in His ministry, to teach. As she came forward and told of her experience, He was able to publicly declare her whole, by her faith. She was pronounced clean by the Savior in front of everyone. He was showing us that the marginalized, lonely, outcast, and shunned could be found clean and worthy in His sight.

MY “ISSUES OF BLOOD”

There have been so many times I have felt isolated, unclean or even shunned. My “issue” has been MDD or Major Depressive Disorder. For me it has been chronic for over twenty years. The disease itself can make me feel isolated and unclean. Sometimes, others will physically (subconsciously, I hope) step away from me when I talk about it. Like it’s contagious?! When I was first trying to get healthy and into remission, I really had to work on not just medication and therapy and exercise, but also on my thoughts. I didn’t feel worthy of the Savior’s grace. Because depression is a big, fat liar, and wants you to believe you are worthless. I have come to learn over the years, that even when I can’t feel Him, I can still trust my faith that He is there! That He is passing close by, offering me His power if I can just reach out and grab it. And He will even help my unbelief! So, when you too feel like you have spent all you have and are holding on by a thread, grab the thread that matters –the knowledge that Christ is aware of you and came to this earth to suffer everything so He would know how to succor us. Succor literally means “to run to”. He won’t just let you grab on, He will run to you and lift you and carry you.

And a big thank you to Rose Datoc Dall for letting me use her beautiful artwork. You can go HERE to check out her amazing work.