JUST A LITTLE BACKGROUND

 Here’s the real reason I started this little project. A couple of weeks ago I was asked to speak to a youth group from church. I was going to be speaking right before my husband.  He was going to talk about some cool fighter pilot flying stuff and tie it in to the gospel. So, as I prayed about what I could possibly share that would be remotely interesting to a group of teenagers when I am by any standard, supremely ordinary, I swear I heard the words, “Yes! Let’s go with that!” Umm…being ordinary? Or how only like 1/1000 of a percent of us become fighter pilots and yet we are all important? Maybe I can see the direction this needs to go…

That night I shared one scripture and three experiences I had over a period of several years. When I was a brand new missionary, preparing to go to Korea, I read about this guy named Gadianton, who had such an impact on his people that he ended up causing the destruction of his entire nation. I don’t think he woke up one day and thought he’d put that on his vision board. He just didn’t realize how far his influence could reach. That verse stuck with me for a really long time. The idea that one person could bring down an entire nation by his or her actions is pretty sobering.

ONE: UNDERSTAND THE WORTH OF ONE SOUL

Cut to 16 years later. My husband and I arrive in Korea, but not as missionaries. This time we are there as part of the USAF. Vaughn is flying the A-10 and was able to get a sponsorship to bring the whole family. We show up with four kids, ages 12 to 2. Our church meets as a tiny little group with just a few families. Most of the men are there without their families. Our son, Andy, is the only Young Man. They have to call a YM president and deacons advisor. I am, for some reason, really struck by this. I know that God knows and is aware of us as individuals and that His church is there to support and help individuals and families but this is the most extreme example I have ever seen. One twelve year-old boy was important enough to organize a Young Men’s Organization. It’s one thing to understand it intellectually. It’s another thing to see faithful men come out on Wednesdays and Sundays and sometimes Saturdays, when it’s cold or hot and minister to my son. I can see now that Christ would go after one sheep and expects us to do the same. I have never forgotten this example of how precious my son is to His Heavenly Father.

TWO: REMEMBER THAT GOD IS AWARE OF YOU AND YOUR NEEDS

We were in the middle of the second of what would be three moves in about 3 1/2 years. I didn’t have a ton of friends yet. And to top it all off, we were living in the middle of a huge Army post. I had teenagers and toddlers and I felt like I was failing pretty spectacularly in every way, pretty much every day. I was riding the struggle bus. I might have even been the substitute driver some days. One weekend it was time for our stake, or local church conference. I met my husband in between sessions for a quick dinner before we went together to the adult session. He tried to give me some encouraging words, because he knew I was having a difficult time. I remember thinking, “This poor guy has no idea what a train wreck he’s married to!” As we went into the church I realized my favorite speaker, Jeffrey R. Holland, was the main speaker. I don’t remember a lot of what he said that night, except that he knew there were some of us who were struggling, who needed to know that God loved us and that we were doing so much better than we thought we were. My notes are buried somewhere in our house, since this was like six moves ago, but the feeling I had in that moment, that my Creator was aware of me has never faded. Do I think I’m important enough that God would send an apostle to deliver a personal message to me? No. BUT GOD THINKS I AM THAT IMPORTANT. And I will always remember that moment of clarity. 

THREE: BE ONE WHO GOD CAN USE TO BLESS ANOTHER ONE OF HIS CHILDREN

This past Christmas I saw that a sweet friend of mine had shared a sad moment in her day. She had broken some vintage ornaments that she had just bought. I love to send presents and I adore this friend of mine. She has four beautiful girls, all in descending sizes, like curly headed matryoshka dolls, and a husband doing a surgical residency. We were in the AF together in Korea years ago and she is someone who was always there for me. So, it took me all of five minutes to search on Etsy, find a match and ship off some more vintage ornaments that I hoped would be a fun surprise for her. I promptly forgot about this little package in the hustle and bustle of my own Christmas prep. And then, about a week later,  I got a message from her, that I am sharing with her permission:

“Tami, this could have not come at a better time. The doorbell rang and I literally did the mom freeze. I was sitting at my desk, trying to wrap my head around an assignment – feeling overwhelmed and down and exhausted and I was inches from coming unraveled. Literally. My thought was – God, I cannot handle one more thing. I am just going to sit here and wait for them to walk away.

-And then I saw the package. I thought it must be something for John from his parents since they said they mailed something, but I opened it and was completely puzzled.

I was like – I only really know one Tami? Wow – what kind of Christmas card is this? What’s going on? And then I saw them and broke down and sobbed. THANK YOU! It was just what I needed. It lifted my spirits and renewed my soul!! I cannot even explain it. I cried and cried – I was so grateful! ❤️ you are a GEM!! THANK YOU! ❤️❤️ I really needed that! I love you, lady!

It was more than you sending my favorite thing – it was the sweet thought and being inspired to send it.”

I don’t want any misunderstanding here-this sweet moment that Melissa and I had was NOT because I am amazing. IT”S BECAUSE GOD IS AMAZING. He was completely aware of the need of one of His children and used another one of His children to fill that need. I’ve learned through these three separate experiences how much worth there is in ONE soul, how aware God is of ONE soul, and how He will use ONE of us to bless another ONE. There is power in being “ordinary”, because in my own small ways  I’ve learned I matter to my Heavenly Father. And when I come to Him through “Christ, who is the Holy One of Israel, and partake of his salvation, and the power of his redemption….and offer (my) whole soul(s) as an offering unto Him,” I’m no longer ordinary, but I have all the power I need to make all the difference He needs.

THE NUDGE

Since that night, I have felt this little nagging.  Or nudging. To get back online and start sharing my feelings. That maybe I have something to say. About family, or God or mental illness. Or things that make me laugh or how to send the best package to  your best friend who lives far away.  So, if through sharing my little thoughts and experiences and ideas and joys and sorrows here I can help ONE person, then that is worth every minute I invest in this project. Because each ONE of us matter and we all help each other in ways that we don’t even realize. Let me know below how I can help, inspire or lift you!